Tuesday, May 8, 2012

How to Stop Yourself From Sending an Angry Email

via Pinterest

I was about to send an angry email and decided to write this blog post instead.

I think sending angry emails is wrong and mean. But I really want to send it. So, I'm stopping myself to examine why I want to send the angry email. The email is in reply to an email I recieved.

Upon reading the email, I felt:

1. Like I was being insulted.
2. Like I was being disrespected.
3. That my energy and efforts weren't being appreciated.

In sending the angry reply, I wanted to:

1. Use the zinger that came to my head immediately upon reading the email.
2. Make the sender feel as bad as they made me feel.
3. Communicate my disagreement with the sender's point of view.

When recieving my email the original sender will probably feel:

1. Like they were being insulted.
2. Like they were being disrespected.
3. Like their voice or concern was not being listened to.

It is easy to see the problem with the approach I want to take when I write it down. I did this exercise publicly to show both myself and others that engaging in aggressive or mean behaviors is unproductive for everyone involved. We can't become better people unless we are conscious of the consequence of each action we take in the world. It is through small hurts to others that we slowly erode others trust and our own inherent kindness.

"If the love within your mind is lost and you see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education or material comfort you have, only suffering and confusion will ensue." -- Dalai Lama

(Today I am grateful that I updated my iPod shuffle so I have all new music to listen to on my way to and from work. I am especially grateful for Tim Buckley.)


  1. I have certainly been there. To deal with my anger, often resulting feeling wronged, I have learned to: put the issue aside until I calmed down. To calm down, I would step out to a quiet space and just breathe. This has typically resulted in a temporary form of relief. However, in the long term, I have struggled with eliminating that feeling of anger. Have you ever felt this way? If so, how did you work through it?

    Thank you for sharing.

    1. I try to just acknowledge that something is making me angry. I look at it straight on and then I let it go. I do this because I have made a decision that I want to stay committed to. I don't' want to be angry. I want to be happy. To do this, I have to look at things that anger me and I have to just let them go. I don't want them to have that power over me.


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